How Now Brown Cow? ...........(to be continued)

Dear bRown cow,

I am writing this letter to tell you how appalled I am at the current state of the manliness of our young men today in our society. Brown cow, Why do guys dress up in pink shirts, have funny funky taiwanese hairstyles, show the peace sign while taking photos and roll their eyes back to try and look cute? Isn't that what sissy gay ass cunts do? Please advise. I have a boy and I am worried for his manliness and his balls!

From,

A Concerned Parent

DanT, the GREATEST ever Penangite EVER!

I am So great. I am so great, everybody loves me I am so great.

• I don't pronounce Skype as SKYPY!
• I have better things to do in my life than Playing online games 24/7 of my life.
• I am Daniel, therefore I am GREAT
• A usual day with DanT begins with climbing mountains, swimming with sharks and wrestling Godzilla . I then will fly to Africa to feed the poor and stop by China to Pee on Chairman Mao's grave. I will quickly stop over in Chicago and shootaround with Michael Jordan and pick up a pizza from Lygon Street Melbourne. I still have time to make it home for Mom's lovely dinner.
• I don't put any make up or curl my eyelashes. Plus I take less than a minute to fix my hair. (SCREW YOU metrosexuals.)
• I am so smart that I found out that all of life's problems can be solved by ONE single mathematical equation but I chose to forget it because I want to start solving social ills not the mysteries to life.
• I drink beer.
• I drink A LOT of Beer.
• I once got lost in the jungles of Amazon and to survive I killed a rhino with my bare hands. I then pulled of his two tusks and with it I killed 100 Amazon warriors that I encountered. I then chopped off an arm of one of the natives I killed, sharpened it and chopped down 2 trees. With it to build a canoe which I rowed all the way back to Penang with it.
• I am banned from all kinds of competitions just because I AM GREAT.
  

"Greatness doesn't come from what you do or say. Neither does it come from winning or being succesful. One is great when he/she steps up and elevates him/herself from the rest. It happens when a person sets themselves apart from the average crowd to achieve unmentionable heights." - Daniel Tay

Disneyland After Dark with DanT DawG

Was out with my mate Wazza last night watching the footy. Saints v Demons at the MCG. 70000 fans. Half of em FOUL MOUTH aussies shouting at the umpire and telling him to "GO HOME AND FUCK HIS MUM". Players pushing and shoving each other. Punches nearly thrown. Meat pies and chips. BEER!. And 2 hot Blondes sitting in front of us. THATS WHAT FOOTY (Aussie Rules not soccer not rugby not NFL)is all about.

(68000 Bloody Fans at the G)

(Players going off at halftime. Not before a pushing and shoving match with a few nasties in between)

For some reason or another Waz calls me Chewie. Short for Chewbacca, the Gorilla whois Han Solo's (Harrison Ford) co pilot in Star Wars 1,2 and 3. It seems that all my nicknames are related to animals. Pooh, Gorilla and now Chewie??? But its all good....

Oh yea, we were driving along Chapel St after the game and we saw this bird/shelia/chick with the BIGGEST tits that you will ever see. So big that we didnt even look at her face. Our eyes went straight to the goods. Hmm...... just sharing!

Anyway I am running off, just like the hooker who stole your watch and wallet after fucking ya!

FUCK OFF everyone.

Confinement in the Moonlight

Its 5.12am, not asleep and pictures say 1000 words.

• Laptop, Study Notes, Moonlight and Me.
• Caffeine. Attention Disorder Disability. Bum. Knackered. Fidgity.
• Night. Reflections and City lights. Dreamy. Skyline. Bored.

"Beer the CAUSE and the SOLUTION to all of man's problems!" Homer Jay Simpson

My Tribute to the Croc Hunter

You know, I will be honest with you all. I was never really enthusiastic about nature shows. Back in Penang we don't even subscribe to the Nature programs. (Although my mum would most probably would want to swap my ESPN for it) However, I declare myself very lucky to have caught some of the adventures of Steve Irwin, the Croc Hunter before he tragically passed away on the 4th of September.

Steve Irwin, the guy who wrestled with the crocodiles. The guy who risked his life just so that he could educate the world on Aussie outback animals. Steve Irwin, the tough macho man who loved the outback so much that he wept like a baby when one of his beloved crocs died. There was never a man that was so passionate and dedicated about animals as Steve Irwin was.

I was very fortunate enough to have visited his zoo on the 11th of July 2006. What made me even more lucky was that he and his family were filming some shots and they dropped by to wave and say a few words to the crowd.

My aunt and cousin told me "Thats worth a million bucks!" It is pretty rare that they would be at the zoo as they would often be filming for one of their nature shows. Now that I think about it, their words have really struck me. I may have been the last ever Penangnite to have ever seen the famous Steve Irwin.

Steve Irwin, the face of Australia. Ask any of my mates back in Penang who John Howard is and you'll most probably get "Who da fuck is that?" But EVERYONE knows who Steve Irwin was. REST in PEACE, Steve. We will never get to hear you say "CRIKEY!" ever again.