His name was Captain DisecTo

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Coffee with company and BB

Lessons learnt sipping coffee

Location: Starbucks Island Plaza

Occasion: Tze En's Birthday Celebration again...........and again........and again

Peeps: Aunty, Che, Lil Girl, Surfer Dude, BB and the Dant Dawg

"BB does not eat her own shit" - Ooi Suyin

"BB scares STARBUCKS boyyyyyyy" - Random Observation

"PFS boys today lost a couple of points today in PwC" - Random Observation

"BB will not be attending the wedding. Yee Thean Er cries because of this. Tze En consoles her" - Studious Observation

Lil girl and bf fighting and I am in between. GOD PLEASE TAKE ME AWAY!!!!

BB boh kia si. She wants to be a daredevil jumping from chair to chair!!

Lil girl calls me stupid for the Nth time this week. I have been swimming in elephant turd the whole week. Everyone nods silently and agrees.

"People do not like us. When we are in Coffee Bean there are tons of people in Starbucks. When we are in Starbucks all the people go to Coffee Bean" - Lee Yee Sin

"Someone will not be dancing on the dance floor in December"

"There is a traditional Chinese belief that they are not allowed to attend someone's wedding after their own wedding within a 4 month period. If they do, Chuck Norris will fly from America and give them a round-house kick. They will die and go to hell and be tortured by 99 eaglehorn demons. Worms will then crawl up their body and start laying eggs in their ears and hair. Then Chuck will stare at the person's bride and she will be impregnated." - Lee Yee Sin

Today is the first time Danno has heard Suyin talk like a BIMBO.....Danno widely opens his eyes

(For those who doesn't know who BB is here is her pic. BB is Suyin's hyper and attention craving little mutt. I will be using BB in the near future as my chick magnet.)








This is what my pet would look like if I ever did own a pet:-

No more fuel subsidies? Danno rides the bus. Danno 1 Fuel increase 0

On 4 June 2008 the whole Malaysia became a chaotic mess. The news had just come out that our beloved government would be stopping fuel subsidies and will offer a rebate instead to car owners when they renewing their road tax. Fuel prices will be raised from Rm1.92 to RM2.70 per litre.

True to the Malaysian spirit every mothafucka with four (and two too!) wheels rushed to the petrol stations to pump their tanks before the end of the day causing massive traffic jams on roads leading to petrol stations everywhere in the country.

Ok, so you save what RM 40 to RM 50 now but won't you still have to pump your petrol next week? And you have to wait like what 1 hour before you could pump your petrol. Malaysians will always be Malaysians.

So you might be thinking "What the hell are you going to do about it mate? This is a burden to the rakyat!"

Problem: Fuel price increases

Solution: Rapid Penang Bus service

It has been almost 6 years since I have last taken the bus in Penang. Back in the days where me and my mates would used to jump from the various gates of Penang Free School and run to the bus stop to catch a bus to One Stop or Gurney, buses were dirty, smelly and we were squashed in like a can of sardines. However, I had decided to let the Malaysia transport system redeem itself on Thursday morning.

Being true to the wannabe aussie poser inside of me, I dressed up to work that day, wore my sunnies and had my mp3 playing The Cure "Friday I'm in love" at full blast (Yea I know, it was a bloody Thursday. But hey it's my favourite song to listen to before I go to work. ) To be honest with you as I strutted towards the bus stop (pic below), I did not expect much of a change from my last experiences on Penang buses.

(Bus stop along Dato Keramat Road which is opposite Kampung Makam)

The wonderful thing about living near Dato Keramat Road is that all the Air Itam buses as well as some Greenlane ones will use the road to go down to the Jetty Bus terminal. After a short 5 minute wait a bus had finally arrived.

"Encik, ada pergi Jalan Bahari (the road nearest to my office)"

"Ada, naik naik. Satu Ringgit!"

To my surprise the bus was actually pretty clean and wasn't that packed (pic below). Of course some idiots had vandalised the back seats by writing " Ahmad cinta kepada Ali" (Ahmad loves Ali) and " Rohani hisap kote kuat kuat kao kao" (Rohani sucks dick damm hard damm well) but other than that there was no funky smell nor was it dirty or anything. WICKEDDDDDDD

Oh yea, I actually got a lot of stares from the peeps on the bus. Must be the sunnies as well as all my head bobbing that I was doing.(Song had changed to Sexy Can I)

Note to self: "Musn't look to cool on a Penang bus. Might get robbed. I am not in Melbourne. Repeat plenty of times"

(How YA DOENN.....Unfortunately there were no hot chicks on the bus to appreciate my wannabe poser look)

After about a 15 minute bus ride, I reached my stop and got down. Walked another 5 minutes to my office and started bragging to everyone about my bus trip. Started by telling the rest of them how they are so freakin spoilt and how they do not love the environment and how they should be shot for not trying to save the ozone like me.

Then you get a couple of Asian blonde women (aka bimbos) who went like " WAHHHHHH you really took Rapid arr?? Not scarryy arrr? Not hot arrrrrrr????" Like yea woman, Danno ain't some spoilt rich brat that can't take buses. There are a lot of low-income to middle-income (as well as students who skip school) people who still depend on the bus as their main source of transportation.

Some haters refused to believe that Danno took a bus, so I saved this as proof:-

Folks,

Danno 1 ; Fuel Price increase 0 ; haters and bimbos -9999999999999

Rapid Bus Ticket = RM 1.00

Parking Fee saved per day = RM 10.00

Looking cool wearing shades and listening to rockin tunes on your mp3 player while riding the bus = PRICELESS

There are some things that money can't buy.

For others there is the Rapid Penang bus.

Danno's Mid Year Review

Dave was always a man with a plan. Without fail, he would sip his bubbly on New Year’s Eve and read out a list of his New Year's resolution to his buddies.

".....No more smoking......." he blurts out.

".....I will stop calling Dominoes Pizza and ask them for Wantons...."

".....I will learn to stop honking overweight females who cross the road and I will not only stop and smile at the above average looking chick..."

Dave's buddies just look and smile at each other. Five months down the road they know Dave will be having a ciggy in his hand driving down Jalan Sultan Ahmad Shah honking at fatties crossing the road. Whats worse is that he would be most probably be smoking even more and start throwing stuff at beautiful but overweight females who cross the road.

Sound all to familiar? Thats because Dave did not have what I call a "Mid Year Reflection Review" Many of us have brilliant plans. Many of us know how to dream big. However where we fail is our follow up plan. So friends and buddies, pimps and hoes, dudes and dudettes, mates and shelias, here is Danno's Mid Year Reflection Review. Ok wait for ittt............ JENG JENG JENG.....Hmm maybe that came too late.

As my close friends, I am sharing this with y'all so that you can help me achieve my goals. So if you see that I am suddenly drifting from these goals, do holla back and let me know.

DANNO's MID YEAR REFLECTION PLAN

1. Smoking

01/01/2008 :- Stop Smoking

01/06/2008:- Avg. 5 a day

If you want to know where the government screws humanity up, this is where they do it. Nicotine has killed more people than Heroin, Extacy, Cocaine and Marijuana. Research studies show that Nicotine is as hard to give up compare to hardcore drugs such as Heroin and Meth. Yet, governments don't even classify this as a drug. Now I am not going to go all hippie on you and say that sniffing coke is better than smoking but even God knows I need help on this.

What Danno is going to do:- Earlier on in the year I have managed to cut down to 3 a day. It suddenly went up to a lot ever since my exam periods. For the rest of the year I am trying to learn how to cope with stress without nicotine.

What YOU can do:- Give me reminders on how much I have smoked today. These reminders help me remind myself how much I have smoked. Also when in a group while eating, do not let me light up in front of you. Force me to go away if I want to smoke. This helps as I am too lazy to walk out from the restaurant etc.

2. Being positive in tough situations

01/01/2008 :- Maintain a positive attitude throughout the day and give a compliment to someone each day

01/06/2008:- HUH?

I think no one knows this but yes, that was one of my goals in the beginning of the year. I think for this one I have failed miserably on this one. I was grumpy when someone stole my yoghurt (DAMMMM) and I was grumpy today when I had woken up so early to make my sandwich and had forgotten to bring it to work today.

What Danno is going to do:- Smile more and give a compliment to someone each day.

What YOU can do:- Be positive with me. Smile. Make a joke when times are tough and fucked up.

3. Meet someone new each week

01/01/2008 :- Meet someone new each week

01/06/2008:- Doing alright. But I have got to stop meeting people like SPB.

This has been alright I guess. Maybe I haven't been Mr Party Animal but I have turned some random strangers into friends this year (exception of SPB of course. She turned from stranger to freakin nightmare)

What Danno is going to do:- Be the DaNt DaWg YO! PIMPINNNNNNn

What YOU can do:- Introduce me to YOUR friends. (Hot ones only, no ccc's unless approved by lil girl)

So boys and girls there you have it. Danno's mid year reflection. And yes I will also stop honking at slightly overweight individuals who cross the road when I drive.